I am all alone with my mind

From the illusion of freedom 

The ghost of perfection

One day an old lady told me 

For the world is small

I keep on feeding my inner deerdom

Tells me life is for affection

Someone with care holds me

I keep my drawings on the wall

(September 2022)

Perhaps

Perhaps in another life we can hope

Our bodies will sweat over each other

The dark sky will become lighter 

The belly will shake in emptiness 

I will see smiles and goose bumps

Perhaps some stories are better when absent

Wonder about what never happened 

To get butterflies to visit & heart beats

The smells of possibilities floating

From my house to yours

Perhaps you will dream with me one day

And if there is no boundaries on other

Plane, the chances are; time is an illusion 

So your memory of one second flash 

Has marked me for a lifetime

Perhaps my days will become grey

If I wander without direction, over and

Over a soft blanket of future memories

Some words are better unspoken

Leaving to our eyes to accept what is already understood.

(September 2022)

Growing Pains

Changing someone you once was

Finding yourself in despair

At the mirror, not recognizing

The colours, the features, the shapes.

There’s no glitter on your eyes

Your wardrobe doesn’t fit your dreams

Life never felt so short

You can’t tell people because they

Don’t know you don’t know

Your map is upside down 

Your shoes, too tight

You don’t even fit inside your thoughts.

But everything is going to be alright

You might not see it now but

Those are growing pains.

(September 2022)

Everybody Knows 

Everybody knows

 that fairies love spring

Working early morning

Witnessing the sun rise

It’s time! It’s time! -

They sing & dance

Flowers yawning nonstop

The cold is still present

Feels like a cozy cup of tea

Soon they will be sunbathing

I can already see they washing 

Their long curly hair

Smoking their pipes

& brews their ale.

(September 2022)

I See Colours

In my dreams, I see colours

In your eyes, I see colours 

Grey sky, grey asphalt but I see colours 

When the storm comes, you hug me

and I see colours

Rosemary, lavender & basil 

Still colours 

I remember of long ago

When colours didn’t visit me often

When all my soul was blue

Now, we’ve made a deal

Making they come everyday.

So everyday,

I see rainbows.

(September 2022)

Part of 

If I am nature and nature is me

I no longer have to worry

If everything has its time and place

I no longer have to expect

If every drop of rain is life itself

There’s nothing that could take away my peace

For I am part of a whole planet

I am equally

Insignificant

&

Precious.

(September 2022)

The Man of My Dreams

I never dreamed with this man, in fact

In many ways he is quite the opposite of 

Someone I’d expect to be with, grow old.

The man of my dreams which I never dreamed is

Better than any dream, too real for delusions

He helps me to keep a balance between peace & chaos

He wakes up early on a Sunday morning and

Brings me coffee in bed, he always have time to

My shenanigans about life, death, love, god, existence

The man of my dreams is sweet, calm and passionate

He never complains and always try to make me happy

He is playing the flute and petting the dog

Yesterday, there was a party in the garden

Which he started, with the sounds of his flute

All the fairies came out to dance.

(September 2022)

Sorry Over You

To say pretty things

Everybody has the mouth

To act upon the truth, not really

But

Please

Thank you

Excuse me

Sorry.

I am so sorry, for all of you

Sorry for your loss of identity

Your anxiety attacks

The unspoken words

The repeated words

Over and sorry and over

The sore throat 

Caused by the dry thoughts 

A desert without an end

There’s only a line on the horizon

Nothing else

It is so small that it doesn’t

Even fits a spoon

It’s time to hold you bowl

With both hands

To drink all the elixir of life

It’s time to reinvent yourself

To become who you truly are

To heal all the expectations they have for you

To you

On you

Over you

Start by closing your eyes

Open your eye and

No, you don’t have to cut your hair.

(September 2022)

Inner Talk

Every time that I need reclusion

I go outside, I sit on the grass

I watch the flowers moving

I breathe pure air

This time of the year is perfect

For writing unveil thoughts

Talking with oneself

I reveal old passions

My reflection on the mirror, I see time

All the years it took from me

To figure out that

I am still the same child.

(September 2022)

Place Fire

Find a place close to the fire

Be your own fireplace

Place fire on your heart

And let it burn in love

Allow fire to place and important role

Be fluid as the flames

Be warm as the heat

Be adored as a campfire

On a clear night.

(September 2022)

Make Yourself Comfortable

A poem about snuggles 

has to be the coziest one,

Like fluffy little blankets and 

Sweet potato soup with homemade bread

Soft rain gliding on the windows

Beautiful stars showing the way

A soft little puppy for cuddles 

Candles… Lavender Candles everywhere

A magic flute on the background

Long books and hot cocoa

I am talking warm hugs

And video calls with grandma

Tea biscuits tasting like ginger

And of course,

A film from the 19th century

Is playing on tv, cozy socks

Keeping your feet comfy

A loved one or your own self to

Snuggle

All night long.

(September 2022)

Winter

My favourite thing about winter is

The fairy lights all over my home

Long dark mornings

Early dark evenings

But everything is reflecting golden

My constant filled up cup of tea

Candles for the sense of warmth 

Blankets everywhere, it's raining again

The wind is howling through the windows

I don’t want to go outside

But I have to

And it’s actually nice

The cold air is easy to breathe

If you are lucky, you can catch

Some sunlight on your face.

Close your eyes.

(September 2022)

Half Full

I changed the furniture again

I bake pies, cakes and potatoes

Still reading business books

And drinking coffee

And taking pictures, recording videos

Just finished a call

This episode will be about

Making your own art materials

Not corresponding to colonial expectations

I got sick after last week

How many projects are too many

It is the end of autumn and

I am filling my cup for

The next era to come

Not worrying too much for I know

The only thing I know for sure

There will be cuddles with Arthur.

(September 2022)

Gotta Keep Trying

The scarcity of feelings, love and water

In a sick mind that insist in telling lies

Perhaps the truth is a marathonist

Running and running away from you

Faster than you, you can’t reach it

So as a looping process you keep yourself short

As cancer, the sickness spreads to your mind

And flesh, and soul, and spirit, and hm…

Are you running again?

I can hear the crunchy sounds of autumn leaves

Under your feet, getting louder and the rhythm faster

Everybody says that if you want to run a marathon

You gotta keep trying

But you are running after something

That is within yourself

Somehow you already know that

And you got this.

(September 2022)

Autumn

How to write a poem about autumn

Without falling on cliches

Talking about the leaf trails

So golden, so copper

Without paying attention that

The wind is so loud thinking

This is the beginning of a new era.

I can smell the cold coming

What is autumn

If not a FAREWELL.

A reminder of death, a preparation

For the wintry.

A time to slow down.

Its 9th of September and I don’t know

How to write a poem about autumn.

(9th of September 2022)

In the middle of chaos

In the middle of chaos 

Find the serenity

To live one day at time

To smell flowers 

To watch the clouds running

To wait

To believe

To stay.

(September 2022)

Drought

The soil once virile no longer smells

It’s colors getting more and more 

Pale

What was all connected is nothing but

Cracks 

Long long loooong slits showing 

New maps

It’s veins 

Roaming in despair

Bugs coming out of its interiors 

As fast as the heat

Inhale…

Exhale…

You can hear all the silence there is

I was left there 

To dry.

(September 2022)

A Beach Memory

I remember when we used to go to the beach

You helped me with my fear of water

I poorly spread sunscreen on your back

We could see the way of my little fingers afterwards.

I remember the melting ice cream running to my elbows

Your black sunglasses

Our sandals together

Beside one another

The books you would try to read

whenever I got quiet.

The smell of the heat

The touch of a soft breeze on my hair

Flying and landing birds

Small fishing boats getting smaller

and smaller.

You would intrigue 

(my already busy mind)

by questioning my questions

And leaving space for imagination

I have loved you before I could

understand what it meant.

I was a mirror of your love

Flying back to you

On every good night’s kiss

You never read stories before bed

Because you knew i had

enough space for wonder 

Until I fall asleep

Why does time go so fast?

Now the experience has been transferred

And the cycles are on looping

Your hair giving out to colors

We see the option of a light 

grey

It suits you well

(and you know that)

How’s that possible 

That I can already be missing you

Even though

You are still here.

(September 2022)

Gold

For all my past lives

From all my ancestors

The life that runs in my veins

Is made of gold and light

Decay is not welcome here

Envy is not welcome here

Rage is not welcome here

Because all I touch turns to gold

And it is rare, shining, heavy

And it is beautiful, authentic, unique

And it is me in entirely

And I float, higher & higher

Until I reach the skies

Turning the world to gold.

(September 2022)

Shadow Work

Today.  I pray, to whoever is listening

I pray as never before

Not asking for things as usual 

But to thank the enlightenment

The sweat and the pain

There is no light without darkness

and today I celebrate the dark!

I celebrate the breakdowns

The shadows on my constant shadow work

Anxiety & panic attacks

I honour it today,

For showing me places I don’t want to go

Feelings I don’t want to feel

Anguish I don’t want to witness

I honour myself today

For deciding the life I want to

To leave suffering behind

For closing portals

That I shall never return

For letting me be myself

For fuck sake.

(September 2022)

An Ordinary Morning

I wake up

I put my morning glitter

on  my cup

I write wild thoughts

I go outside

It is that time of the year

That you need a sweater

Maybe a hat too

So, fully prepared I

Go outside 

To hear the whispering wind

Telling it is a new day

It is a new dawn

Yellow, copper & orange

As far as my eyes can reach

The dog sniff remnants

From last night

I look up

I can find pieces of sky

In between dancing leaves

I can smell the peace

Everybody else is asleep

I eat solitude

I feel wholesome

I talk with birds

On their early conversation

I spot mushrooms and

They are wondering

About life & death

I invite blessings

I sing silly songs

I pet the dog

I breathe slowly

I lay on the ground

The leaves are loud

I become part of it

I feel roots

Coming from the grass

Drilling my spine

Wrapping my flesh

I close my eyes

And I am feeling 

good.

(September 2022)

What to do before eating

I want you to remember the harsh days

If not out of your own life

Get back from when

You were stardust

The struggles of who carried

Your blood, your features

I want you to get back

To places you have never been

To hallucinate by scarcity

To lost your loved ones,

Your hope, your desires

To witness what it does to people

I want you to celebrate

Each and all rice grain on your plate

To thank the farmers, the seeds

Mother nature and the harvest

The birds, the plants, the life

Perhaps even god, if necessary.

(September 2022)

C.L.E.M.E.N.T.I.N.E.S

Cozy

Lemons hugging

Each other on the tree. it probably

Means sweet, fresh and loved juice.

Especially if you find an old beetroot in the fridge. mix them together in order to                                                                                                                                                                                                                      quench the thirsty stoner. she

Never forgets the feeling of going out to the fields with her grandfather.

Time that will never come back, yet

It's still so present. Long mango trees, full of life and colours. orange ones,  acerolas, pitangas, 

Nectarines and clementines at walking distance.

Elisa opens her eyes and realizes she was daydreaming again. she

Smiles at the possibility of living on those days once more.

(September 2022)

I never learned how to play the piano 

I don't know where I am but I recognize my clothes. A room I have never seen before, muddy ceiling, dirty curtains moving slowly as my breath.

On the windows, little plastic plants covered in dust.

My eyes are sore so they rest for a while.

There's A piano in the room, it is dark brown and it has probably experienced more moments than me, maybe than you as well.

My mouth tastes like ashes and my throat is as dry as a desert, my cracked lips feel pale.

I never learned how to play the piano.

Looking from a long distance, a cockroach starts walking towards me.

I can see her on my index finger and she says “Be careful, please don't treat me as you've been treating yourself”.

I was shocked, how did she know I gave up many moons ago?

“How would you like to be treated then?” I asked in curiosity.

“You see…” she started “every day when I wake up, I think that it could very likely be my last day alive. I don't have dreams, I just want to go places while I can, finding things to eat and talking to strangers”

...

“ you are not answering my question” I cut her “ how would you like to be treated”?

She moved her antennas for a while.

“Well, to begin with it would be nice not having humans trying to kill me every time they rest their eyes on me”

She continued:

“you are so busy destroying and killing everything you don't realize how we are all equally important. It is almost like you live to die, therefore, you want to kill your surroundings while you kill yourself”.

At this moment she tries to get back on the ground so I carefully put her down

“what do you know, you are just a cockroach”,

“I know everything you know” she spits, and starts walking, disappearing under the bed.

(September 2022)

Busy Birds

The easiest time to fall in love

when the air gets warm

circulating faster through every cell 

in our bodies

Making the heart beats 

in ecstasy on every opportunity I

let my eyes pay attention;

Reflections in the water,

people laying down under trees.

Burnt cheeks, running on bicycles.

Cycling so fast, making the wind

kiss all my face while the sun hugs me.

The easiest time to fall in love

early mornings, sun light 

hot coffee in a hot day

birds busy, busy birds

carrying messages all the time

How do I know that?

I tell them the messages,

sometimes even stories of what

could happen, so they can carry

my messages to you.

After all, it is summer and it is

the easiest time for you

to love me back.

(September 2022)

Pela Janela

Depois de um longo dia,

poder se entortar numa cadeira

de madeira

com almofadas

Olhando pela janela

a natureza

é um suspiro

cor de rosa, amarelo

laranja, azul

e cinza.

Enquanto as folhas

dançam

umas com as outras

enquanto a formação

acima vai correndo

devagarinho.

A natureza

                                           é um suspiro.

(June 2022)

Confident

A storm has started few days ago,
making the trees bow to it.
Changing completely the course
Of each and all drops of rain.
The sun, like my doubts,
is hiding behind the storm.
We know he is there
even though we can not see it.
Flowers don’t doubt themselves.
they just live their best life,
opening to visitors,
taking good care of themselves
& their appearance,
being & feeling attractive,
taking a sunbath,
dancing with the wind.
I’ve made a statement.
I want to be a
flower
But not an ordinary one,
I want to be a wild one, surrounded by 
different flowers
so we can get to know each other.
I will then tell them my stories
from before I became a confident flower
and we will laugh and thank and share and feel
and be.

(June 2022)

Pra isso

Me vestir de mim

me beijar

me deixar seduzir

pelos meus encantos

me vestir de preto

conversar com os pássaros

sentir o molhado da

grama nos

meus pés descalços

e dançar

e agradecer

e aproveitar 

e sorrir.

Foi pra isso 

que eu vim.

(June 2022)